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When Santa is stingy (per my child)

Photo by Mariah Ashby on Unsplash


Last night, 24th of December 2019,
we came home from a party with friends. My daughter was excited to see the presents received from Santa and rushed, after she entered our home, to discover the gifts. She paused a little and then stopped looking at a stack of wrapped boxes placed under the Christmas tree. Suddenly she started to cry. "There are just a few presents for me. What did I do wrong, daddy?" She was sobbing and I was a little flabbergasted; my effort to buy some interesting presents for her (some of them failed to be delivered but were still bought but not under the tree, due to unforeseen circumstances) seems to be dashed from a simple glance to a pile of boxes. She was expecting a deluge of boxes under the tree and the five/six wrapped boxes were not enough to fill-up her expectations.

I just sat down in a chair and was chewing my kid's ungratefulness. She unwrapped one of the presents and discovered was a piano book. The anger grew higher, "I did not want a piano book, daddy !". I was silent and wondered whether is she going to end with the wailing. Undid my top shirt button and loosed the tie knot. I would have killed to get more than one gift when I was a kid, and I was quite sure it was the same for the majority of the children in our adopted country - Canada.

I asked her to get upstairs and to prepare for bed time. It was 2am in the morning. My energy level was down even after an espresso a few hours prior to the whole melt-down. She was sobbing and unhappy when I went upstairs to kiss her good night. While I laid down beside her bed to have a short chat, I wanted to settle some points I was not happy with, with help from Santa's "see-everything" recordings. A few weeks prior to Santa's coming she wrote a letter in which the lines were not even  properly finished. In some of them blah, blah, blah was used as an excuse to express a full delivered thought. I was not happy but did not have time to sit down and explain why is not a good omen to write onomatopoeia in a letter, especially to Santa. Right now was a good moment to made some important points.

- Do you remember the letter to Santa?
- Yes ?!
- How many presents did you ask for in that letter? Six, nine, ten ?
- I don't know...
- Do you remember how you wrote to Santa? With blah, blah, blah, "you know it?"
- Yes ???!!! What is the problem?
- The problem is the letter is totally disrespectful to anybody and especially sending it to someone you are expecting to give you presents. If you don't have time to write a proper sentence how do you expect Santa to fulfill your wishes? I, in Santa's shoes, should have been throwing away your letter or been sending back a reply with "Next year I hope you can write a proper letter to me. I skipped you this year. See you next year !"
- Why ???
- Santa is not your pal at school, and writing "blah, blah, blah" is a proof of your laziness. I don't want to mention the daily struggle to do your own homework, Santa should have known about it. Never, never, write a letter with "blah, blah, blah" !
- I didn't know that, daddy !
- Sorry to find it the hard way, but your tears are not enough for the sloppiness shown in the letter you sent to Santa.

Tired I decided to see if the morning will change her mood and perspective. Around 8 AM she came to me with the piano book in one hand, saying "That is what you wanted, not me !" which was partially true. After a few more shuffles she came back with a radiant face, "At least I got some of what I wanted.." There were two Legos, wanted for some time. There was a "nail stamper kit" and a "Suspend" game I was hoping she was going to enjoy it with her friends.

One of the sentences in the wish list was about points/gems Santa was supposed to buy for her in the most used game on tablet - Roblox. I discussed with Santa and we agreed there is no point to create a strong connection/dependency with some games (namely Roblox) and he bypassed those wishes.

Somehow, our friends helped us a little with some other toys that alleviated the initial first impression of Santa's stinginess. As always, I was not approving of some of the toys (she was already passed their intent age), but could not want to break her heart. There was no dissonance between the idea of presents from friends and Santa's. Somehow, in her mind, Santa can leave your presents to your friends or relatives; they have to deliver them to you.

Did you have the feeling that the entitlement of your kids' expectations (for which society does not have counter-measures to raise) is propelling them towards a major "wake-up" later in life? Can we intervene in a meaningful and memorable way?

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