You probably heard that swimming in rough waters in life will reveal your own character and of all the people with you, caught in that moment. It is always unexpected and, exactly as in movies, it begins with a peaceful background and a monotone sound. Everything is unfolding slowly and without any clues that deep gaps will be revealed in any way. It is like a crack in someone's emotional fabric which becomes a wrecking ball for the characters caught in the event, for a short time span, sufficient to project them on a different life orbit, for good. Some people are calling those events "interventions", others fear them as "dark spots" where secrets are emerging as an iceberg unbalanced by some life event. The repercussions are deep and memorable and entail subsequent turmoils, like a burning lava which will flow down for many days to find a peaceful landscape to cool off.
The characters are the same like in normal life and most of the time there are no surprises expected. Suddenly, for an unknown reason, to a certain stimulus, one of the actors just snaps and his trajectory is like a blast of emotions/anger/unfulfilled desires and reactions in everybody's eyes. If he would have been a stranger he could have been isolated like an alien object/virus in a Petri dish. You probably witnessed the glassification (make him transparent and "apparently" avoid the effects of his acts) of strangers when they are acting crazy or totally unhinged - there is a space created around them and the eyes are looking patronizing onto them.
Being connected by life events, having a history together, it is impossible to be projected in that "object" role and people are trying to be involved based on their emotional response and then the dam is just totally blown away. There is a fission reaction because an "extreme act of sympathy" becomes chained and swirls in amplitude with depths and highs never encountered before. It is a roller-coaster of emotions and deep beliefs which, in a "fight or flight" reaction are revealing who we truly are.
Let's put some images in the whole potential scenario:
Scenario 1
- you are going to a party with your partner and believe to be tamed and without surprises.
- nothing special is expected, you are just catching up with others' people life, laughing a little bit, drinking and dancing or even (worse) gossiping
- then at some moment a few of the people around you disappear and then come back in waves, agitated
- first a friend of yours is flustered and asks you to help her with something and in the interlude starts to cry and say that she wants to leave her family for a extra-marital relationship that is years old
- her daughter is frozen in an "this is not happening to me" posture and other close friends are on the edge, not knowing if they should run away or be involved and saving the past; the future as presented is pressing them to take a side in a split family. Which one?
- Suddenly there is an explosion of nerves, the husband connecting the dots, asking slow-burning-suspicions/questions and throwing insults in a furious cadence. The boiling and repressed doubts are like pulsing wounds, exploding fast and splattering air in a vicious rhythm. Everyone wants to get out and avoid the tension, the rage and the unearthed pain.
- And suddenly one of the parts, let's say the woman, is throwing herself in the arms of her husband and starts having an hysterical laugh.
- Everything seems to be a very well played farce. All the spectators are relieved and are becoming de-tension-ed, tired and wasted emotionally.
- There is a lesson for all of them, for all of us. Parts of the things unraveled before their eyes is hidden in their lives and, maybe, it will not come out, even in a staged and cheap show as the ones played by their friends.
Scenario 2 (a la Don Draper secret from Netflix series "Mad Men")
your partner never talked about his past in detail, and you never pressed her to reveal anything, believing that trust will come as gaining it through life spent together, brick by brick
you are in a relationship for some time and things are settling in a permanent groove; it is not excitement anymore, but routines and habits. It is like an old shoe with the footprint imprinted as a mark, your life!
And then, one day you open an envelope sent in her name and discover that she is married and having kids in a different city, where she goes for business many times during the year. Her partner is asking for money and support and talking about projects they have in common; it seems there is a parallel life running for her with someone else, and even more, that you are a temporary "amusement" and "companion" for a slice of time.
Scenario 3 (comedy of human entangles -"Nothing to hide" movie is a good example)
The whole idea of this post was instigated by some real events I was part of and, lately, by watching the movie "Nothing to hide", available on Netflix. I will not reveal the charm of it but will just state that it is a savourous comedy blended with real drama.
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