Envelope / Develope

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash I reached this conclusion, influenced by one of my dates. She was an attractive grand-mother I met through some friends and in one of our dates she mentioned that, through life, she always wanted to celebrate small events in her life: kids managing to ride a bike first place in a school competition for kids learning something new and applying it (first time) successfully in life  getting the first client in a business moving to a new place working hard and failing successfully and learning the hard way something I was not that type of person, but having a daughter and "suffering" with her through failures and small victories, I understood in the monotone rhythm of life there are not many "grand" celebrations and we should punctuate our existence, enjoying small victories. Sometimes, life is not giving you many big victories and you have to have the next prize on the horizon to keep you going. And here I am, ...

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash If I ask my friends who are married, why should you date, the answer is mostly "you don't want to be alone". All other reasons they got together in the first place, are almost forgotten. The loneliness reason is a cinematographic scenario which plays in my head with a few variations. I imagine the daily routine when you are coming back from work and open the door of your home and nobody is there. It's like entering a deserted town, you being the only inhabitant. The door is the threshold between social and loneliness, you wave on crossing it, with life subduing its noise, far away. you warm up your meal and there is only one plate on the table. Maybe that is the only plate ever used in the house. Sometimes is the frozen, cardboard wrap hanging around somewhere like an abstract animal sacrificed in the ritual called "dinner". you feed your pet (dog, cat, fish...) and then pause to remember what is next, lik...

Photo by Olivia Spink on Unsplash Open up to "unconnected life" Or Meet-up on hidden dating I was using Meet-up app to find "birds-of-the-same-feather", people interested to do the same things, enjoying the same events or just willing to spend time in the same activity (hiking, dancing,  entrepreneurship, etc..). It was a big eye-opener, and with each group I had some period of accommodation: looking around and trying to understand why all those people are there, what is the reason they are coming and what they were looking for to be happening.You don't have to be a mind reader, the gazes of people are telling more than they will recognize. I will tell the story of my first meet-up with a dancing group/singles group. Friday is my tennis night and coming back with Emma from the courts I tried to see if I can arrange a baby-sitter for her in order to go to that event: a dancing night for singles (or not only). I was anxious because it was...

In my life they didn't work and I separated from the women I was at the time. There is a saying, "the eyes you don't see you forget". There is no memory of us together, there is no past we can think off. Real life did not occur between us. I don't even have a photo with you/us. My daily life/cycle is different than yours and is hard to create context in writing or speech.  And context is the background of our behaviors. Commenting and having discussions is important in my day-to-day living. It is very simple, you are here or not, the talk is not enough for me, sometimes I need just silence and presence and my problems will subdue or find a solutions in subconscious . Sometimes I need just a sounding board or an ear to shoot my ideas to. I understand to have different daily lives, but need the close connection (almost) every day. Or, as I give this example with my daughter - since she was a baby she slept on my shoulder, then on my chest, then on my belly, alw...

Photo by sarandy westfall on Unsplash   It might be that we will have a short time-span together for undiscovered/undisclosed to the other reasons. I wasn't compatible with all my long term relationships 100%, but the common ratio was enough to color our life and have incredible memories. I cringe to my youth mistakes and I will slap the 30 years old I was, but at the time nobody was around to teach me the importance of relationships, empathy, really having time for my partner. And maybe shared has a different meaning for each of us. Do you think you opened a little bit more than usual you, by responding to my posts? I put everything on paper because life drove me through places, inside and outside me. I am freer because life is fragile and short and living under a shell is not worth it. We have a short life span to leave a mark around people we care about.    It might be as well that these texts to be the only ones left between us, who knows, but the most unforgi...

Dating around fifties I met this surprising middle age single woman. In incredible shape, independent and recently grand mother. And it blew me away. I wanted to hug her, just to feel the pulse, the vital force pushing a single mom to look as she looked, warm, smiling and not bitching about her life. It is rare not to blame life or people around you for your failures. When you survive life's blows and come back smiling you have me in your corner!! For some inexplicable reason all my personal achievements diminished and were dwarfed by her accomplishments. And I am a widowed dad, and everybody says I am doing an incredible job, proud of my little girl and of our efforts to live a meaningful life - whatever that means for us. But her questions are giving me pause, sometimes. Recently Emma, my daughter, came back from school with a sad face saying "we are the only ones without a normal family" and suddenly the onus was on me - why can't I find a...

Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash    Hey Marci, Just to rephrase you, I cannot say exactly where are you in my book but definitely in the 5 nines based on BMI and how you look. But these factors may not be on my conscious criteria when I meet women. For sure I don't meet women who cannot enjoy an outdoor activity - and people around me know that - and not having the BMI within acceptable norms. Even then, sometimes the spell bursts when they open their mouth.  I half-jokingly accepted Adriana's challenge to see other women in US just because my sieving rate is quite high. More so, I don't actively do it (maybe I should?), I let things/life unfold. What I can definitely say is that you impressed me and it is not happening frequently (maybe because I am a Sagittarius). And even in those rare cases my rationale/analytical mind constructs hypotheses why I should turn around and keep looking, which I did after our first encounter - and the dist...