You stop and look back, in time. I have this image in mind, where the portrait of a person is taken when she is half-turning her body towards the camera. It seems like her life is going forward and the portrait is just a step-back in time, literally. It froze that moment, where the spirit is paused but the life continues without you really participating. It is not my contraption, is a signature of many ads and commercials, but the significance seemed fit for my post.
Do you have doubts about your life, about your decisions which were not yours, in reality? The agency problem came back to me when my daughter announced she is making her own choices, from now on. She's six. Tough to argue!
When was the worst case of day-dreaming in your career, what was the decision made out of fear or just inertia pushed you in? How did you escape, do you (now) recognize the pause in the brain waves and do you jump in a repetitive mechanics of your body, just to get rid of the obsessive feeling of tiredness or of futile effort?
What thing/process can you describe in layman terms but in reality is a very complex concept? Can you differentiate between fill-in discourse and real contributions, not regurgitation read on an online forum?
Did you really accomplished something of substance, beyond being a parent (as one friend had summoned her contribution to humanity)? Has humanity any inclination to thank you for any of your efforts or you are just "water under the bridge" ?
I get this question sometime, how did the MBA helped you, for your career? Honestly, it did not helped my career in a major way but made crystal clear some doubts or questions I had about what to do next. Initially I thought I will switch to a financial career path, for money and excitement, until one day a young fellow came in and shattered my dream. I already was making more money than some of the the financial guys and did not want to toil days and nights in order to get high on the ladder. Plus, my years of mathematics in University made me laugh on the math used in my finance courses.
Then I realized that building mathematical models for finance industry and being a reflexive cog was not a coveted job. At that time I was in charge, technically, of a start-up and the rubber hit the road with large clouds of smoke and fire. The problem I encountered was to steer the efforts in the right direction and find solutions for real life problems. The exhilaration of what you can do or change with technology is intoxicating. I had more projects in my mind that I could have managed to finish in my lifetime. Which one to choose?
At the same time, in my MBA, I chose the entrepreneurship and finance specialization. In one of the lectures, one line hit me hard - what is the purpose of your life, do you build a legacy, do you leave anything behind (after all the vanities and efforts and tears and...) ?
From that moment in time, my life had a different trajectory, and I cannot say was for worse or better, just from time to time a third person will follow me and stubbornly ask me the same question. Against the odds, I drew closer to deepen the mark in the ground. And sometimes I had real doubts that my turns were for better, but hey, who am I to judge me?
It was ironic the question came in an entrepreneurship course in a MBA course!? In fairness, the question was much more debated in my previous lectures and one of them was in "The 7 Habits of highly effective people". I know, my taste in reading is wide and peculiar, and the book I mentioned was not on my MBA recommended readings. One of the habits is called - Begin With The End in Mind, just google it!
Since I had this compulsive, nagging question, years ago, I changed my life a little bit in such a way to declare - I can leave even ridiculed efforts behind me. At least, I will try...
And here are some of the deeds I put them in my TO DOs list:
Do you have doubts about your life, about your decisions which were not yours, in reality? The agency problem came back to me when my daughter announced she is making her own choices, from now on. She's six. Tough to argue!
When was the worst case of day-dreaming in your career, what was the decision made out of fear or just inertia pushed you in? How did you escape, do you (now) recognize the pause in the brain waves and do you jump in a repetitive mechanics of your body, just to get rid of the obsessive feeling of tiredness or of futile effort?
What thing/process can you describe in layman terms but in reality is a very complex concept? Can you differentiate between fill-in discourse and real contributions, not regurgitation read on an online forum?
Did you really accomplished something of substance, beyond being a parent (as one friend had summoned her contribution to humanity)? Has humanity any inclination to thank you for any of your efforts or you are just "water under the bridge" ?
I get this question sometime, how did the MBA helped you, for your career? Honestly, it did not helped my career in a major way but made crystal clear some doubts or questions I had about what to do next. Initially I thought I will switch to a financial career path, for money and excitement, until one day a young fellow came in and shattered my dream. I already was making more money than some of the the financial guys and did not want to toil days and nights in order to get high on the ladder. Plus, my years of mathematics in University made me laugh on the math used in my finance courses.
Then I realized that building mathematical models for finance industry and being a reflexive cog was not a coveted job. At that time I was in charge, technically, of a start-up and the rubber hit the road with large clouds of smoke and fire. The problem I encountered was to steer the efforts in the right direction and find solutions for real life problems. The exhilaration of what you can do or change with technology is intoxicating. I had more projects in my mind that I could have managed to finish in my lifetime. Which one to choose?
At the same time, in my MBA, I chose the entrepreneurship and finance specialization. In one of the lectures, one line hit me hard - what is the purpose of your life, do you build a legacy, do you leave anything behind (after all the vanities and efforts and tears and...) ?
From that moment in time, my life had a different trajectory, and I cannot say was for worse or better, just from time to time a third person will follow me and stubbornly ask me the same question. Against the odds, I drew closer to deepen the mark in the ground. And sometimes I had real doubts that my turns were for better, but hey, who am I to judge me?
It was ironic the question came in an entrepreneurship course in a MBA course!? In fairness, the question was much more debated in my previous lectures and one of them was in "The 7 Habits of highly effective people". I know, my taste in reading is wide and peculiar, and the book I mentioned was not on my MBA recommended readings. One of the habits is called - Begin With The End in Mind, just google it!
Since I had this compulsive, nagging question, years ago, I changed my life a little bit in such a way to declare - I can leave even ridiculed efforts behind me. At least, I will try...
And here are some of the deeds I put them in my TO DOs list:
- a book of stories for kids - Emma, I hope you will enjoy it !
- a book of my wife's life story, of an incredible, valiant and so much stubborn human being
- an app for people who are totally lost, sometimes, in their life - when the life is charging at you and you don't have the walls to lean on, the people to talk to, the answers or questions to send them out
- changing one wild tree in a fruit tree
- volunteering in an orphanage
- learning to play an instrument
It might sound modest, but I will revisit this posting one year from now to see where I stand.
Updates
1.Initial draft - 04/03/2018
2. published - 29/05/2019. At that time I was already started to learn piano. To be honest I visited many times an orphanage but never volunteered. Instead of stories for Emma I already have an app which is about imagining stories for kids. Not published yet, though.
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